Mugger miscalculates, gets ass kicked

By » Sat, December 10 2011
blackeyes 450x337 Mugger miscalculates, gets ass kicked

I'm too dumb to feel shame. (img by Anthony Miranda)

Chicago – A convicted felon chose the wrong victim when he tried to rob an ultimate fighting champion Friday night on the Southwest Side and ended up with two black eyes and a gunshot wound to the ankle.

Critical tip for when you’re playing the mugging game: it’s maybe better to judge victims on foot instead of in vehicles… It’s hard to tell if the guy behind the wheel is a UFC fighter or a Sikh strongman who will just bend your knife with his face.

The other lesson: don’t push your luck. According to the Chicago police, our mugger asked for a light, then money (and got it!), then decided to go for more money by making his victim get out of the car (and presumably into a superior fighting stance). Which is when the ass-kicking and self-shooting ensued.

He should have quit while he was ahead and while his quarry’s mobility was hampered by being strapped into a chair inside a metal and glass cage.

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