Tactical beards!

By » Sat, April 21 2012
36f44d89 450x311 Tactical beards!

6061 T6 Type III Anodized Tactical Beard with T-marks (img by llandaff (not likely, if this is yours, let us know))

Pentagon Study Finds Beards Directly Related To Combat Effectiveness

Jonathon Burns was the lead researcher in the study.

“We took 100 soldiers. 25 were Special Forces qualified and had beards, 25 were Special Forces qualified without beards, 25 were regular Army allowed to grow beards for the study, and the last 25 were regular Army without beards. All 100 of these subjects were in direct combat in Afghanistan during the study.”

He continued, “Xegis Solutions had several teams of researchers embedded with these troops to make observations on their combat effectiveness. The results were overwhelming, out of the 50 soldiers with beards, zero were wounded or killed and they had a significantly higher accuracy of fire than the soldiers without beards. The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, shit went wrong most of the time.”

This study was commissioned in part by the Duffel Blog who profits directly from the sale of “Beards Save Lives” T-shirts; however there doesn’t seem to be any foul play or even guiding hand here, and I’m not saying that because of my own hirsuteness.  Not at all.

(I’m saying it because I want them to send me one of those T-shirts.)

beards save lives Tactical beards!

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3 Responses

  1. Eric Jusino April 21 2012 @ 11:58pm

    You meant to type “two of those T-shirts”. I wear an extra medium.

  2. Max Slowik April 22 2012 @ 1:50pm

    I’ve been thinking at some point we should have shirts of our own, which got me thinking about DL urban survival kits, with like, matches, hot sauce, and condoms in them.

  3. Eric Jusino April 25 2012 @ 11:30am

    “Matches and hot sauce for when you need the burn, condoms for when you don’t.”

    Die < Less: avoid the clap.