I fuck you the fuck up! The reality of fighting

By » Sat, May 19 2012
4628611135 d94357c77a 450x299 I fuck you the fuck up! The reality of fighting

These guys don't even have fists. (img by Rene Bastiaanssen)

I’ve been in two fist fights in my life (if you don’t count filial spats). Both were when I was very young. Both were incredibly one-sided. Yep. I got my ass kicked. In hindsight, every time I’ve been in a physical altercation, I’ve opted not to fight.

Because I’m a dude, I have a built-in voice that says “it’s never really been proven if I have ‘what it takes’”. But I really think fights are more dominance display or sport than about actually hurting people, and I figure it’s pretty easy to get hurt trying to fight with little or no training.

Thanks to TV, we think everyone, including drug-addicted computer programmers, can fight:

Everybody says they know that action movies are fake, but they’re lying. For proof, just get a couple of drunk males in a confrontation and you’ll quickly realize they did in fact think Hollywood fight scenes were grim depictions of reality. They’ll throw haymakers and roundhouse kicks with images of Jean-Claude Van Damme spin-punching a guy through a plate glass window dancing in their heads.

Thirty seconds later, they’re laying on the floor, gasping and hissing in pain while rubbing some body part, perhaps while crying. This is when they realize the difference between choreographed movie fighting and real fighting. Because in the real world, it turns out…

Your Fists Are Fragile Flowers.

But the reality is a lot different. Effective fighting takes training and a certain mindset, and people usually go to great lengths to avoid it. I’m no longer secretly wishing for a fight, even though I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. That doesn’t mean I won’t tie on some gloves and learn the fundamentals… it’d probably be good for me to learn how to not blank out when someone hits me in the face.

Also, don’t get in a fight against a guy who runs a Chinese restaurant in the middle of the ‘hood. Bad things happen:

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One Response

  1. James West on Facebook James West on Facebook May 19 2012 @ 8:58am

    “Don’t fight someone who runs a Chinese restaurant in the middle of the hood.” Better advice has never been given.