In the name of Jesus, I fuck you the fuck up!

By » Wed, June 27 2012
2242124815 18340447e6 450x239 In the name of Jesus, I fuck you the fuck up!

That was a mistranslation. The original says to punch people in the other cheek. (img by Ricardo Hurtubia)

Despite the realism of the Flying Spaghetti Monster officiating the fight between the Almighty and his Divine Progeny in the image above, I’m pretty sure it’s not real. There’s no way Christ would have done that kind of damage to Yahweh. We’re talking about the guy who’s famous for being nice, telling everyone else to be nice, and then letting people kill him so that his Father doesn’t send them all to Hell for eternity for doing things like wearing polyester blends or eating tasty tasty pigs.

I’ve probably pissed of some Christians now. And yesterday, I would have scoffed about them, since everyone knows that Jesus told his followers to turn the other cheek and just love and pray for people instead of beating the shit out of them in His name (everyone but the crusaders, anyway… and Westboro Baptist Church… and all these guys). But today, I’m worried. Because there’s a new set of evangelicals in the US… evangelicals that train to fuck people the fuck up.

Yes. There are evangelical church pastors who love mixed martial arts fighting and promote it in their congregations. What does that even look like? In the words of one dude: “The hope is that through the fight, I can create a relationship with the person I’m fighting and extend Christ to him.”

Yes. This is real. And there’s a documentary coming to prove it: Fight Church. You have to see it to believe it.

“Can you love your neighbor as yourself and at the same time knee him in the face as hard as you can?” I guess we’ll find out…

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