Brag about your exploits AFTERward

7153094577 61346192aa c 450x746 Brag about your exploits AFTERward

In my day, skywalking was called "work". (img by West Vancouver Archives)

First off: there is no skywalking for the sane. These people are nuts. Speaking of nuts, mine kept trying to slurp up into my ribcage just watching this video:

But let’s say that you’re a skywalker. No, not a whiny bitch who complains about having to be around for moisture harvest instead of bullseyeing womp rats in his T-16. I mean Russians who apparently don’t value life and enjoy climbing incredibly high shit. Anyway, you’re about to go climb some epically tall thing. And climbing it involves illegal trespassing and probably reckless endangerment.

Pro-tip: Don’t fucking talk about your illegal plans in public online. Emailing friends you trust is one thing. Posting on a public site, or even a social networking site where friends of friends might see, is just dumb.

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How to infiltrate a nuclear missile base

2081211115 4fb668cc0c 450x299 How to infiltrate a nuclear missile base

Dust masks, gloves, and a shitload of photo equipment. (img by Eric Jusino)

Urban exploration starts with an email to your friends:

subj: wanna infiltrate a missile silo?

It’s that easy. Well, not really. The first Titan silo my friends and I visited was impossible to get into. It took about a week, and we figured a way into an honest-to-god Titan I missile silo in eastern Colorado. We learned a few things along the way:

Do the research first
If it exists, there is an internet subculture for it. Most of the time, someone’s already done the thing you’re interested in doing. Sites like can get you a huge start on things, but don’t stop there. We got most of our information from first-hand accounts on the Adventure Rider Motorcycle forum (those guys are less about secret urbexp posturing and more into “check out this cool thing I found”).

I also found schematics and models online, which would later prove invaluable:

titan schematic 450x538 How to infiltrate a nuclear missile base

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SpaceX program finally launches James Doohan’s–Scotty’s–ashes into orbit

James Scotty Doohan 450x560 SpaceX program finally launches James Doohans–Scottys–ashes into orbit

"All right, you lovelies. Hold together." (img by sandrino)

The SpaceX program has demonstrated the abilities of the private sector, combined with some eccentric wealth, can succeed at literally the highest plane of exploration and scientific achievement since the dawn of man. Its Dragon spacecraft has gone into orbit where it will continue to test its maneuvering thrusters until it meets and berths with the International Space Station.

Just under 10 minutes after launch SpaceX announced Dragon successfully reached orbit. A few minutes later, loud cheers washed over SpaceX’s factory floor as Dragon successfully deployed its solar panels.

The Dragon receives power from batteries and the pair of solar arrays. The next big event will be the opening of the Guidance, Navigation and Control Bay door in two hours and 27 minutes after launch. When the door opens, it is the first step toward the rendezvous with the ISS, according to SpaceX president Gwynne Shotwell.

“This is a key new feature for this mission, which basically exposes the Proximity Operations Sensors to space so we can see the ISS as we are approaching and allow us to get close enough to berth,” Shotwell explained in a press conference on May 19. “Our star trackers also get a view of space at this time, so this is a very critical operation”

While modern and impressive as this is, the whole ordeal is overshadowed by the completion of James Doohan’s final will and testament, which read that his ashes were to be launched into space. This SpaceX launch will be the third and finally successful attempt at sending Scotty’s remains into orbit. (more…)

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Pastafarianism in the military

FSM 450x442 Pastafarianism in the military

FSM moved an artist to create art. That prove that he’s real, right? (img by LOLtheists)


A little while ago, news broke about a Pastafarian winning the right to wearing a pasta strainer on his head for his official driver’s license photograph *edit: it seems that there was no legal battle*. Coincidentally, around the same time, I got a few emails from the contributors to a Wikipedia article on Religious Symbols in the US Military asking if I would contribute a photograph of my Atheist dog tags.

Shortly after I donated the photograph to Wikipedia, the photo was added to the Flying Spaghetti Monster entry as well. Awesome.

I actually have a few funny stories about FSM and the Army. *warning: quoting a Drill Sergeant is NSFW*

Why the Flying Spaghetti Monster was bigger than Jesus in boot camp. (more…)

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Intermission: “I’m a monster”

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Drunk Amish Teens Crash Buggy Into Police Car

Amish Buggy e1331576369571 450x259 Drunk Amish Teens Crash Buggy Into Police Car

The low speed chase stopped when the horse had to piss like a, well, you know. (img by the Inquisitr)

@the Inquisitr:

Drunk driving isn’t a phenomenon that only affects those of us with access to motorized vehicles and that fact was highlighted this past weekend when four young Amish adults consumed large amounts of alcohol and then crashed their horse drawn buggy into the side of a police car.

Police arrived at the scene of a party that was reported by local residents which point the Amish teenagers attempted to flee the scene, smashing one buggy into the patrol car.

The crash occurred in Chautauqua County, New York on Sunday night at 7:15pm in the rural town of Sherman. (more…)

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