How to prep your home in case of burglars

And some headlines:

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Bug-Out Doggie Bags

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Brandon Smith carries his two cats, Fry and Bender, to dry land from their flooded and evacuated home on June 12, 2008 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Much of the city has been evacuated as the Cedar River continues to rise to record levels. More rains are predicted over the next few days. (img by David Greedy/Getty Images)

If you don’t have a bug-out bag, or Emergency Preparadness Kit, or zompoc survival steam locker, make one. A bug-out bag, if you’re unfamiliar with the concept, is a kit, usually a backpack, with enough supplies to keep you and yours whole in case you have to evacuate your house, city, state, etc. for usually at least 72 hours. Wikipedia can help you put together a fairly comprehensive bug-out bag including the most important supplies, like duct tape.

But among the ranks of non-perishable food, water, and water purification supplies, it doesn’t include pet food and pet supplies.

Most people have pets and if you have to leave, you can’t leave them behind. Even the ASPCA recommends putting together a bug-out doggie bag, because if you leave without them, there’s no guarantee they’ll survive without you.

In hindsight this might seem like common sense. When I realized that my kit doesn’t have any pet-specific supplies I felt pretty retarded. Particularly since they seem to take offense at actual meat, which, yeah, weird. I mean, they’re cats, fucking obligate carnivores, right?

In any case, freeze-dried cat food is on its way. Freeze-dried dog food is also a thing that you can buy. Of course, that’s not all you need for your pets. (more…)

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Failure to get zombies in 3…

zombie kiss 450x300 Failure to get zombies in 3...

Undead at heart (img by Beth Jusino)

Buyers in record numbers are flooding into gun stores, retailers say. Ammo, too, is flying off the shelves. The reasons for the spike, last seen in 2009, include fears that a second Obama administration might restrict gun ownership and the popularity of TV shows devoted to doomsday preparation and killing zombies…

Then there are zombies–zombie movies, zombie comics, zombie novels, zombie TV shows. Americans’ fascination with all things zombie, Parsons says, has grown to such proportions that arms manufactures now have come out with zombie-specific firearms and ammo. Products include a line of Zombie Max ammunition (slogan: “just in case”) made by Hornady Manufacturing. “We can’t keep it in stock,” says Parsons. “It comes in a cool, colorful box with a Zombie on it.”

There are more than a dozen manufacturers, says Cris Parsons, 31, owner of a Texas gun store called the Houston Armory, making zombie riffles, some with a picture of a zombie on them The two position on a zombie rifle’s safety, instead of being marked “safe” and “fire,” are labeled “dead” and “undead.”

ABC touches on a couple of explanations for why gun sales are growing fast.  First up, naturally, is the perceived possibility of increased gun control over the next electoral horizon.  Sure, whatever.  There are plenty of people buying just for that reason.

Then there are people who are buying because people are afraid of the possibility of increased gun control are buying, and they want to buy gun stuff before other people buying gun stuff drives the prices of gun stuff through the roof like it did when Barack Obama was first elected.  Whew.

Then they throw out zombies.  They don’t understand zombies, just point at them and shrug.  Zombies!

It’s not all that hard to understand, actually.  And that’s where the prepper fits in.   (more…)

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Doomsday Preppers summarized

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This basement honors the rule of 3. (img by Maureen Sill)

Scientific study of Doomsday Preppers from a pro photographer in Denver:

After careful research I’ve concluded that these are the stages one takes in response to watching Doomsday Preppers:

  1. No freakin way, that’s for real?!?
  2. Holy crap, I’m gonna die, I should prepare
  3. Ha! you’re prepping for what?
  4. That’s totally the wrong way to do that, trust me, I’m an expert now.
  5. Meh, I’ll eat the neighbor’s cat if it comes to it, what else is on?

I haven’t seen the show, yet, but I’ll admit that the reaction above is parallel to my reactions reading various prepper blogs.

I guess the joke will be on me during the zombie apocalypse.

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What is this bunker missing?

tumblr lnyf1tEwQl1qcsry5o1 1280 450x600 What is this bunker missing?

Everything a body needs. (img by ??)

Too bad you have to come out to take a dump.

(The massively inbred and interlinked tumblrverse didn’t see fit to provide me with credit info for this shot. It may very well be hiding under the floorboards. If you know who I can credit for the image, please let me know in the comments!)

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9 plausible doomsdays for your apocalyptic pleasure

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It's been near for a couple thousand years. (img by John C)

“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero,” said some guy in Fight Club.

So stay alive a while and you can piss on the grave of that dumbass jock who made fun of you in high school. But let’s look at the bigger picture. I’m talking mass extinctions, pandemics, the rise of the goddamn machines. We don’t need a stone calendar made by an extinct people to run out of days. In a few zillion years, whichever Hindu god is sleeping will wake, and the universe will collapse again.

I like geologic/climactic/cosmic apocalypses. Ice ages, supervolcanoes, the Sun going nova – it gives me some perspective. And there are some seriously egg-headed dudes who agree. Washington State University astrobiologist Dirk Schulze-Makuch and British astronomer David Darling wrote Megacatastrophes!: Nine Strange Ways the World Could End, which is due out next month. scheduled to debut next month from Oneworld Publications.

The book is due to detail sci-fi plot scenarios like grey goo and the rise of Skynet as well as the standard Sun gobbles earth, supervolcanoes cause ice age, everyone dies of the flu scenarios. They’re rated by likelihood (the Sun really is going to kill us all, eventually), and have some interesting facts. Read more about the book at SeattlePI.

The scale (and inevitability) of some of these things makes me want to focus on living more right now instead of stockpiling aluminum foil. No amount of that shit is going to save us from a supernova, no matter what Bob’s Survival Foil and Faraday Cages blog tells you. So get off your ass, go outside and play. It will do more for your survivability than a roomful of preps will.

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