Does your gun need more chainsaw?

shot show 2012 doublestar zombie x chainsaw attachment  450x318 Does your gun need more chainsaw?

65% more chainsaw per chainsaw. (img by Armory Blog)

What good is having a map of the dead, knowing where all the supplies you need to survive the zombie apocalypse are, if you can’t reach them in the first place? When there’s a wall of hungry undead between you and the city’s last and only hope for Twinkies, you’re gonna need a tool to close the gap safely.

And that tool is a chainsaw.

Originally designed as a one-off for the gun expo SHOT Show, the Zombie X Chainsaw Bayonet is going into honest-to-God production, as in, yes, you can put 1000% more chainsaw on your gun.

The Zombie X Chainsaw will be available in tactical black, tactical drab, and zombie skull flage, which sounds adequately tactical. They are electrically-driven and powered by quick-charge lithium-ion batteries. Promising to be available soon, a Zombie X Chainsaw Bayonet will set you back a cool five bills.

But it also comes with a 12-inch mounting rail and a left- or right-side ACE forward grip. Made by Panacea X, now presenting the Zombie X Chainsaw Bayonet ($500).

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Zombievision: your town stripped to the essentials

zombiemap 450x270 Zombievision: your town stripped to the essentials

Not shown: millions of undead.

Map of the Dead isn’t really there to help you survive… it’s there to help promote a zombie game for iDevices. But that’s okay… it’s still an interesting way of looking at your surroundings as a list of supply points and danger zones (probably marked as such due to population density). Note that they often coincide.

The cool thing about games/maps like these is that they remind you that every single person around you is a potential threat, cover, or asset, which is really difficult to replicate in wide games with only a few people involved.

Next time you’re out playing fugitive in the park, have someone show up early and recruit civilian bystanders to add some randomality. Or play your game downtown at rush hour and see if you can use commuters as cover. Or go all out and try to recruit people to help you get from wherever you are to wherever you’re going. You’ll be forced to deal with other humans as actual thinking beings with their own motivations… it’s like Diplomacy in real time with strangers.

Pro-tip: be sure to let people know you’re playing a game so you don’t get arrested.

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Bug-Out Doggie Bags

Iowa Flooding 2008 450x315 Bug Out Doggie Bags

Brandon Smith carries his two cats, Fry and Bender, to dry land from their flooded and evacuated home on June 12, 2008 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Much of the city has been evacuated as the Cedar River continues to rise to record levels. More rains are predicted over the next few days. (img by David Greedy/Getty Images)

If you don’t have a bug-out bag, or Emergency Preparadness Kit, or zompoc survival steam locker, make one. A bug-out bag, if you’re unfamiliar with the concept, is a kit, usually a backpack, with enough supplies to keep you and yours whole in case you have to evacuate your house, city, state, etc. for usually at least 72 hours. Wikipedia can help you put together a fairly comprehensive bug-out bag including the most important supplies, like duct tape.

But among the ranks of non-perishable food, water, and water purification supplies, it doesn’t include pet food and pet supplies.

Most people have pets and if you have to leave, you can’t leave them behind. Even the ASPCA recommends putting together a bug-out doggie bag, because if you leave without them, there’s no guarantee they’ll survive without you.

In hindsight this might seem like common sense. When I realized that my kit doesn’t have any pet-specific supplies I felt pretty retarded. Particularly since they seem to take offense at actual meat, which, yeah, weird. I mean, they’re cats, fucking obligate carnivores, right?

In any case, freeze-dried cat food is on its way. Freeze-dried dog food is also a thing that you can buy. Of course, that’s not all you need for your pets. (more…)

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Failure to get zombies in 3…

zombie kiss 450x300 Failure to get zombies in 3...

Undead at heart (img by Beth Jusino)

Buyers in record numbers are flooding into gun stores, retailers say. Ammo, too, is flying off the shelves. The reasons for the spike, last seen in 2009, include fears that a second Obama administration might restrict gun ownership and the popularity of TV shows devoted to doomsday preparation and killing zombies…

Then there are zombies–zombie movies, zombie comics, zombie novels, zombie TV shows. Americans’ fascination with all things zombie, Parsons says, has grown to such proportions that arms manufactures now have come out with zombie-specific firearms and ammo. Products include a line of Zombie Max ammunition (slogan: “just in case”) made by Hornady Manufacturing. “We can’t keep it in stock,” says Parsons. “It comes in a cool, colorful box with a Zombie on it.”

There are more than a dozen manufacturers, says Cris Parsons, 31, owner of a Texas gun store called the Houston Armory, making zombie riffles, some with a picture of a zombie on them The two position on a zombie rifle’s safety, instead of being marked “safe” and “fire,” are labeled “dead” and “undead.”

ABC touches on a couple of explanations for why gun sales are growing fast.  First up, naturally, is the perceived possibility of increased gun control over the next electoral horizon.  Sure, whatever.  There are plenty of people buying just for that reason.

Then there are people who are buying because people are afraid of the possibility of increased gun control are buying, and they want to buy gun stuff before other people buying gun stuff drives the prices of gun stuff through the roof like it did when Barack Obama was first elected.  Whew.

Then they throw out zombies.  They don’t understand zombies, just point at them and shrug.  Zombies!

It’s not all that hard to understand, actually.  And that’s where the prepper fits in.   (more…)

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A Jeep for every apocalypse

Jeep Mighty FC 450x253 A Jeep for every apocalypse

Needs more John Moses Browning (img by Jalopnik)

Despite the iconic seven-slot grille, the Jeep Mighty FC Concept is as American as a Katyusha rocket. The retro-fantastic rock crawler shares its design lineage with the Soviet GAZ-66 and the arsenal of atom bombs that terrorized the nightmares of ’50s schoolchildren.

Regardless of whether its roots are red, white and blue or just red, the Mighty FC — i.e. Forward Control — has the stature and I-don’t-give-a-crap-about-your-human rights might befitting a superpower. Thank you, my Jeep comrades, for blessing me with the chance to drive it yesterday in Moab.

The cab over layout is nothing new for Jeep, which — under the auspices of Willy’s and Kaiser — produced something similar between 1956 and 1965. But amongst the now Chrysler-owned division’s array of rock-crawling Wrangler variants, it stands out as something special, and definitely bears more than passing resemblance to a Soviet missile hauler.

You can read the rest over at Jalopnik.

Granted, it needs some work to survive, say, zompoc.   Like a Ma Deuce and maybe some spikes at head height for good measure, and definitely some fuel canisters draped around the sides, and a whole lot more mud all over it, but it’ll do.  It’ll do.  How long before this winds up on “The Walking Dead”?

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Doomsday Preppers summarized

2632567405 70423a23d2 450x299 Doomsday Preppers summarized

This basement honors the rule of 3. (img by Maureen Sill)

Scientific study of Doomsday Preppers from a pro photographer in Denver:

After careful research I’ve concluded that these are the stages one takes in response to watching Doomsday Preppers:

  1. No freakin way, that’s for real?!?
  2. Holy crap, I’m gonna die, I should prepare
  3. Ha! you’re prepping for what?
  4. That’s totally the wrong way to do that, trust me, I’m an expert now.
  5. Meh, I’ll eat the neighbor’s cat if it comes to it, what else is on?

I haven’t seen the show, yet, but I’ll admit that the reaction above is parallel to my reactions reading various prepper blogs.

I guess the joke will be on me during the zombie apocalypse.

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